Jill's Blog of Bloggy-ness

Update

2007-01-29T23:21:00.000-08:00

what to say... it's been a WHILE, like a long while... Cary and I are still together :) over half a year now!!! and well, he's wonderful. yeah, we've had our differences, but at the end of the day we always know that we will never stop loving each other. He makes me happier than I have ever been. :)

Band is GREAT! I quit jazz band, due to getting not enough hours at work, but then they gave me less... so I am on the hunt for a new job :P yes. I work at Wienerschnitzel... :P and I'm not proud. but back to band!!! last semester I was first chair in jazz band on the tenor sax. had a ton of solos, thought that was fun. but it became not so fun when nobody else would learn their part, we sounded like crap and I would cry after class wondering why nobody else cared. So it was time to get away from that. In Wind Ensemble, I was first chair alto :) (steven and brian both left tho... :( ) it was exciting to be able to lead. I liked the other girl alto sax, but the guy. OMG! he was soooo annoying! I'm sure he didn't mean to be, but he was dang out rude. I would help him out with a rhythm and he would act like he was perfect.... total bugger, so I convinced the girl to sit by me one day, because he played too loud and was giving me ear aches, so she did. I loved that girl. haha. funny thing, we were about the same hight, same hair colorish, and wore the same clothes. sometimes EXACTLY the same. it was way funny. But when band started this semester, I was suddenly the only alto.... While I miss Tatiana (the girl) and don't miss Charles (annoyance) at all. it was weird.... but now I think I really like it. Because they really rely on me now. Nobody can cover my part, it is only me :)

We're playing March from '1941' it is soooooo freakin awesome! we played an arrangement of it my freshy year of hs with Sess'. and I was so excited when I found out we would be playing it again. this time we got the music and it was HARD, FUN, but HARD!!! Turns out it is dirrectly from John Williams score and transposed for the band! I almost died! I swear, I have never been this close to one of John Williams' pieces!

Which brings me to my next point, some may have heard that I was thinking of moving to Boston, to attend New England Conservatory of Music. Unfortunately, I would probably not survive the Boston weather and had to change plans. Recently I broke out in weird spots that appeared to be ringworm (eww! I know!) so I went to the doctor. Turns out, my skin basically has asthma to cold air! who would've thought?! so sadly NEC was a no... So my next turn of thought, California. I want to perform for movies and stuff. because that would be sooo awesome, and what better place than california? (california! california! caaaaalifornia! here we come!) Cary and I have talked about it a little, but haven't set anything true to date. He is interested in going into Video Game design, and I think California would be a good place for that too :) so hopefully that will be a place for us both :) plus, I miss Ashley TERRIBLY!!!!!!!!!! and then I would be a lot closer to her. As for now, I'm living with my parents, and cary lives in the basement. heh. we are looking to move into a place with Mike Rowe. (FUN!!!!) and he might have a hook up on a place :) so hopefully soon.

But that's all for now. I am tired. heh :P

PS I miss Jenny Beece too!!! :*(

Oh, and I had a dream about saving Pikachu.... he was very yellow... and used to be a small child...

Cary

2006-07-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

I recently started dating Cary Billingsly, the one and only. he first moved to hurricane 4 years ago, when we met. we were friends from the start, may have not always hung out, but we were pretty cool about each other. we slowly became better and better friends, and by the end of the year, his freshmen, my sophmore. we were good friends. and well, I thought he was pretty great, and so I would always tease him and try to kiss him on the cheek. so I finally did, after graduation, when I had to leave I kissed him on the cheek. hahaha. he turned so bright red. and it was great, this little lady, laughed at him. hahaha. :D it cracks me up to this day. well, then Cary had to leave for the summer, and wouldn't be back for a while. And I suddenly missed him very much, more than I ever expected myself. I missed walking down the street to see my best friend and to tease him some more. well, the day he got back, I think he called, and I was so excited. so we hung out. and decided to play a N64 game, Tank Wars. pretty fun! and we beat it together! so awesome! well, according to my parents, they could see that Cary had been scootching closer to me every so often, and knew that he liked me. Well, at band camp, I heard that Cary liked me, from our good friend Zach. while I was crazy about Cary, I got scared. Guys typically didn't like me, so I wasn't sure what to do or think. so I backed off a little, but knew that I couldn't really hide my feelings. Cary and I wrote notes back and forth for a while, until in one, in a metaphor, he told me that I was beautiful. it was extremely sweet. and I believe that I still have it some where. Well, it was known on thanksgiving day that we liked each other, because well, we talked on the phone for 6 hours.... and then decided that we should just hang out instead. hahaha. nerds, I know. so we hung out. and I think that night, we were laying on his bed, watching a movie, and he was playing with my hair, he always used to twirl it. and it was so fun just being with him, and we'd hold hands sometimes. Until Zach walked in. Now mind you, Zach is not subtle at all... he screams, laughing, and runs out to tell Cary's mom. at this point, I was a little embarassed. but things were getting better between us. Then something happend, my dear lovely cousin convinced me that Cary didn't really like me, and that he liked her, and that I was just going to get my heart broken... well... I believed her, because she was my best friend... and then she turned around and dated Cary, and it hurt me so bad.... I wanted to hate him, but at the same time I wanted it to be me that Cary kissed and held hands with. instead I just watched in silence. Well, soon Cary and my cousin broke up, and that was a little awkward. I still liked him, but was affraid to say anything. so I never did... he dated another girl, and automatically I hated her... jealousy major. hahaha. so we just stayed friends, and I would call him when I needed him, and he was always there for me. Then we found out that Cary had to move to missouri, this depressed me a lot... Zach kept telling me that if I asked him to, Cary would stay for me. I liked him so much, but was afraid that if I admitted to liking him, he would have to leave anyways. So I stopped liking him, set my mind on other boys. and Joe became my new major interest. I soon had pushed Cary out of my mind of love, and he became strickly a friend. I loved to hang out with him, but didn't have any feelings towards him. While I loved dating Joe for the little over a year that we did. and I did love Joe. We ended our relationship due to many reasons. and I liked several different guys for a while, just to keep my mind off of Joe. well, at that point in time, Cary was engaged to a girl in misouri. so I tried to be friends with her, talked to her online and stuff. she seemed like a nice girl, but slowly she got weirder, and cary got online less and less. I was missing cary so much. he was always my best friend, and then suddenly he wasn't there to talk to. well this girl made me believe that Cary hated me, and I wanted to cry. I tried calling him, but he was already headed out to utah. and all I had to do was wait till he came here, and maybe he would stop by. well, the night he got here, I was the first place he stopped. I gave him a big hug, and asked him, and he said that he'd never hate me, that made me very happy. well, we started hanging out a lot, and remembering old times, and just talking about everything. And I knew that I liked him again. but I didn't want to ruin his engagement, so I told myself to do nothing. well, our friends Mike and Devin found out.... yup... they could tell... and they got it out of me. hahaha. so they swore not to tell. But teased cary about something I told them, but wasn't aloud to tell him... hmmm, what could that be? haha. Cary and I slowly started to flirt more, and return to the old days. and it was making me happy. And then one night, we kissed. and it felt so wonderful. I felt that I had waited so long to do that, that it couldn't actually be happening... that it was just a dream. guess what! it wasn't!!! :D Cary ended his engagement, he said that the relationship was taking some bad turns, and realized his mistake before kissing me. and Cary and I have now been dating for about a month and a half :) And he just has something to him that I can't help but love. he is so strange, yet so down to earth. and he loves me for how I am, and doesn't mind when I get a little odd. he describes me as "... poofy" hahaha. it's very cute on how he is :) I love you Cary :) you make me happier than I have been in a long time. You are my deffinition of love.

short little writing.

2006-05-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

I was once a bird, flew higher than the trees, then somebody shot one wing, and I have trouble keeping in flight. They're waiting... waiting for me to fall to the ground.

2006-03-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

I thought I was kinda dumb, then I met somebody, and I realized that maybe I am smart after all.

I love snow!

2006-03-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

I am the coolest ever!!!!!! go me! lol! ;)

2006-03-06T20:28:00.000-08:00

BOOM

I exploded.

"You should carry something that smells really good when you walk down the isle!" "mmmm.... Pot Roast..."

2006-02-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

I have the greatest section in band! :) Everyday is so much fun, we all get along, and it's just a very happy place. To my left is the world's wonderful Steven! And to my right is the amazingly awesome Brian! And next to Brian, is the only mormon of the group, Chad! Chad isn't as social as Brian and Steven are, but he's still awesome :) Going to band is what I look forward to on monday thru thursday! Brian is goofy and so sweet to me, heehee! And Steven is always happy, and it's really nice to see him :) It's funny, we'll have a long rest, and suddenly, Brian will turn to me and say, "Where are we????" And his smile totally distracts me, and so I forget. haha. And then Steven will ask me where we are (right after I forget), and so I tell him that Brian made me forget... and then he gasps at Brian and we laugh! :):):):) Happy happy days!!!

So I think Brian's friends, and possibly Brian, know that I like him... Liza (plays flute in concert band, and alto in jazz) was talking to Brian and I after class, and Brian tossed a paper in my case, so I picked it up saying, "ooh! What's this???" and when I saw that it was the stub to a movie ticket, I threw it back at him and was like, "here! Have your trash back. haha!" lol, so then Liza said, "Ohhh... too bad it wasn't his number huh!" making me totally blush, and there become an awkward silence... hahaha. And I saw Brian today! heehee! We went to Sears, because my mum had to get a part for the fridge, and oh yes, I knew Brian worked Sundays at Sears! :) So I talked to him for a second and could not stop smiling, I probably looked so dorky, but he smiled a lot too! So I was happy :) yayyyy! :) hahaha. Yeah, he is way so cute. And my mum agrees that he is too. But ofcourse as we were leaving, I was teasing him about not coming to class and he was like, "Whatever, I come to class!" Smiling way big. And then my mum was like, "That's not what I hear!" ohhhh. I just hope I wasn't blushing too bad! hahaha. That's okay, at least she didn't say something more obvious like, "Oh, so this is the guy you like!" lol. Yeah, so I am glad that I saw him, even if I did look like a dork who couldn't stop smiling. Lol.! At least he smiled too right? ;)

Well, enough about Steven and Brian. That is all I have to say because I can't really think of anything else... but yes, great great guys. :)

Love and hugs to all!!!!

Jill

I am happy for me? Can't you be too?

2006-02-12T20:35:00.000-08:00

Why is it that people don't realize how happy I have become lately? I get more comments when I am upset than when I am happy. Basically it's a "oh that's nice... but a week ago they were sad, so I am going to focus on that!" whatever.... I am over Joe... so please stop commenting on it... I have moved on from the friends that I once had...

Please be happy for people when they are happy. And thank you to my friend Ashley, she is so awesome and is there for me when I am sad AND happy :) She is the sweetest girl, and I love her to pieces. :) :) :)

And thank you to my other friends who are happy for me (for example: Katie, Stephanie, and Miah). I know that some people think that maybe I shouldn't grow so attached to brian. but why not? He makes me happy, and I like people who make me happy. And well... Steven is taken... ;) hahahaha. just kidding! Brian is a really good guy. And I'm just happy to be around him. I can't wait to see him tomorow, he just brightens up my day :) And I can't help but smile whenever we look at each other.... Infact, do you know how hard it is to play the saxophone AND smile at the same time? hahaha. I have almost mastered it in Jazz Band. ;) Altho, I still can't laugh and play at the same time... doesn't work.

Anywhos that is all. Lesson to all: Be happy for people, it makes more of an impact.

Love from, Jill

Smilies!!! yay!!!!!

2006-02-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

hihihi! I am still happy :) and actually, I'm even happier. Yesterday, Brian came to band (no steven tho... :( ) but Brian was there. So anyways. I was teasing him about missing class on wednesday, and he pretended that he was sick, so we laughed. then suddenly he asked me, "Jill? You don't hate me do you?" And I was like, shocked, that he would ask such a thing so I asked, "Why would I hate you?" And he said, "Because I tease you... you know that I am joking with you right?" and I said, "yes, I am used to being teased." and he asked again, "So you don't hate me then?" And I just said, "No, I don't hate you at all." and just said, "good." and smiled at me :) Thru-out the hour he kept flirting with me. And he was just really nice... he didn't make fun of me at all! :) it was kinda strange, because I kept expecting him to make fun of me when I slaughtered Steven's first solo. haha. but I just started laughing, so he laughed with me. And then on the 2nd solo, I rushed it, and so he gave me some constructive criticism really nicely :) And so we ended up playing the section of the 2nd solo again, and it went a LOT better. lol. And he stopped in the middle of when we were playing Doo-dots that are b to a.... and looked at me and whispered, "Good job!" and it threw me off and I stopped playing and just stared at my music smiling :) And then the conductor actually cut us off, and I looked over at him and said, "So... was that time better?" And he looked at me and was like, "That was why I said good job." and I smiled and said, "Thanks :)" And he was like, "I wouldn't lie to you."

It's really nice to like him :) He seems to just like to make me smile. He may do it and be really goofy with it, but it's really nice :) He kept smiling at me, and when I would look at him, he would get a really serious look and then like, twitch his nose. Making me laugh. At one point, I looked over at him, and he was looking at me thru part of his saxophone, and was like, "Jill, I can see you!!!!!" it was cute. And then I looked at him again, and the tenor sax player that sits on his other side (Chad) looked over at me and gave me a funny look and looked down at Brian, and then back up at me and smiled at me... it was kinda awkward... because I'm not exactly SURE what he was saying...

So anyways, yesterday was a really really good day :) It was full of happiness for me. :)

Jill

Walkin' On Sunshine kinda happy!

2006-02-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

last night was kinda ugly, but when I woke up this morning, I felt very calm. And just happy to have a fresh day. I decided to where my red sweater, because I hadn't worn it to school yet. And I also did my hair. yup, curled the ends of it. My hair is layered, so it kinda gives it a cool effect, then I pulled it half up. I was feeling quite confident of myself, and ready to go. :) I got to psycho class. (psycholohy). and that went well, I really like it :) And then it was time for band. I knew that Steven wouldn't be there, because of work. But Brian was going to be there :):):) I was early for band, so I just warmed up, blah blah blah. And then Brian came right when class was about to start and was like, "Jill why are you here so early? You make the rest of us look bad!" So I replied, "Because I was late yesterday?" And so he said, "Jill, why do you show up to class at all? It makes us look bad!" so it was kind of an odd start. But hey, it's Brian. ;)

So after we warmed up a little, Brian turned to me and said, "You look nice...." and paused for a minute, long enough for me to smile at him, but not long enough to thank him, before he said, "It's too bad that you don't play as good as you look!" So an insult, and a major compliment in one sentance? Only Brian can pull that one off!!!!! hahaha. He makes me forget everything that is wrong in life. And I feel so calm.... wound up... but in a calm way... When I'm with him, it's like nothing else matters. So even if we remain friends forever, I am glad that he is there :) Because it's not every day that you can come across a person like that. :)

Love from, Jill

Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.

2006-02-06T22:42:00.000-08:00

I am shaking with anger and tears right at this moment. Joe, I hate you so bad. You are an ass. -STOP READING HERE IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SWEARING- Not just an ass, You are a fucking ass hole Joe! I tell you that I want you out of my life and you comment on my blog? fuck..... fuck fuck fuck. Christine is always going to be a bitch. and I don't care if you ever "love" her. I hope you get your heart ripped out and stepped on. Go to hell Joe Busch.

-GO AHEAD AND READ AGAIN, NO MORE SWEARING-

I was finally falling for a guy that just makes me happy..... Somebody that just lets me be me... and I don't have to put on a fake mask..... I don't want to be hurt anymore....

So for now, I will just focus on my new friend... that bugs me soooo bad... and makes me crazy... but he does it until I smile... and that is what I like... even if we never date, he is great to have close.... And Steven... he's an amazing person... he is always nice to me... even when my alto is out of tune, and it's painful.. he is really nice, and helps me fix it...

Now, I'd like to thank my friend, Kray... he has been soooo nice to me. Even tho I don't deserve it. And he's just been there for me... so thank you. I need friends like you in my life.

Jill

Does Stitch have to go in the ship now?

2006-02-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

I happy that I am single, and don't have to worry about anyone but myself. I can like a certain guy one day, and the next, be over him. it's kind of nice. Of course, I do want somebody in my life that likes me, and that jazz... but until I find somebody that I like back, I don't mind being single. I went on a date with one of the trumpet players from band. he is nice. and it was an alright date. Just a movie. but it was a good movie. But it's kind of fun.... liking someone and they have no idea about it.... i feel so sneaky! ;) haha. it's fun to have your heart race when you see his car, or when you get an unknown missed call on your cell. That whole, "Could it be him???" feeling. I like it. it's fun. And having him out of my life is even better. Because I don't have to ever worry about liking him again. I can stick to my plan, without anyone changing my mind.

I want to stay at Dixie, and finish there. And want to live in their housing. I want to meet single guys that are in college and flirt with them. The only problem is that I am so picky.... I have to have my own room... and there has to be a kitchen... and I have to have internet.... equaling? expensive housing... haha.

But yeah, I like how I feel now. I am much happier, and I can flirt with people without feeling "guilty" I do feel dumb for believing that it was actual true love... But I guess I can see this as a fresh start.

over and done with

2006-01-31T20:18:00.000-08:00

I am sick and tired of the way he treated me. I kept going back, and forgiving him. And evidently "I love you" means nothing to him. I really hate what he has done this time. McKray, I am sorry that you had to end up being best friends with such an ass, and loving a bitchy girl that doesn't know a good guy when she sees one. Jared and I are always here for you, if you need us. I feel so stupid.... Steven was right... Ashley was right... but I didn't listen. I listened to my "heart" which was evidently wrong. i don't know anything anymore... love was the only thing I could know and understand... and all that was a lie... I have lost my "best friend" to a bitch. I never want to see either of them again. Trust me, he WILL regret that he ever broke my heart.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat

2006-01-28T11:03:00.001-08:00

How i wonder where you're at. MSN is starting to become a thing of the past, and it makes me sad. Nobody is online on a saturday, at noon... what is coming to the world? I am bored, and lonely. But mostly lonely.

Have you ever had something to say to someone, but been to scared to say it? In fear that they won't understand, and that no good will come from what they say? yeah... I do have something to say, but I'm scared to say it to them. This has been the longest 2 weeks ever.

I want to bitch about someone, but the only person I can talk about that person with is my little brother, and we don't talk too often. We talked on the way to Leeds the other day, and it was really nice. I liked talking to him.

When you get into a fight with a best friend, and are doing the whole vengeful crap of, "I'll find a new best friend!" Do you ever go looking, but just KNOW that they were the best friend that you could ever have? But maybe they're not ready to admit it about you, so they keep on being vengeful, while you wait and watch, being devistated with every knew best friend the come upon? Well, it doesn't nessesarily have to be a best friend. But somebody that is in your life, that you know that you can't live without?

There's a person in my life, that I have come to realize means everything to me, even if I deny it over and over. I can look all I want for somebody to fill their position, but nobody can live up to their greatness. I am just afraid that they can go living with out me... and that they have found someone to replace me.....

Jill

yet again, a change in spazz band

2006-01-09T18:38:00.000-08:00

So, school started up again today. yay, I guess. but anyways. It was nice to see friendly faces. Like Steven, I've missed talking to steven. So I was able to catch him up on the latest drama before band started. hahaha.... yeah... but yeah, I went to Jazz Band, showed Chad and Brian my new tenor sax, and then Chad looks at me and says, "So.... ya wanna be first chair?" and during this he was nodding and grinning like, you know you want to. So I laughed and said, "What??? But you're first chair." and then he said, "I'll switch ya!!!!" so I asked if he wanted to switch and he said yes, that I was better at solo-ing.... :P So I guess, now I'm first chair tenor sax.... wow.... I know... Kinda strange... but if he wants to switch, I will.... I think it will be fun, I guess.

I went and saw King Kong last night with Joe. it's a really good movie. but very sad. :( so that was fun.

Blah blah blah... I'm starting math 1010 again tomorow. And also Psychology. they should be fun. :) I like my schedule so far.

So I am told that I should flirt with guys... and just date.... but I don't know... It doesn't feel natural to flirt... I'm still shy, even after the explotion of personality when I started the sax.... I like to be friends with people, and if it leads somewhere, okay... but I feel really stupid when I throw myself out there... And I must admit, flirting just... doesn't seem that fun to me, unless I really know the person...

But whatever happens with the flirting process and supoosed to be dating, I am glad that Joe and I are friends. And I guess I'm glad that we're just friends at this time...

very confusedly, Jill

hahaha! Must read these!

2005-12-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

Hey, so I'm in a better mood, and reading band geek jokes, and here are some of my favorites:

How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?: Three! One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'till the room spins.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?: Drool.

Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%

A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please."

The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there."

After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner."

The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"

The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?"

The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."

%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&&%&%&

What is a burning oboe good for?: Setting a bassoon on fire.

What is the definition of a half step?: Two oboes playing in unison.

What do band nerds use for birth control? -Their personalities

Haydn's Chopin Liszt at Vivaldi's:

Rossini and cheese
Schumann polish
Bern-n-stein remover
Satie mushrooms
batteries (Purcell)
BeethOVEN cleaner
Hummel microwave meals
orange Schubert
TchaiCOUGHsky drops
marshMahlers
Honey-nut Berlioz
Cui-tips
Chef Boyardee Raveli
sour cream and Ives
Strauss (straws)
chocolate Webers (wafers)
Del Monteverdi corn
Mozart-rella cheese
I Can't Believe it's not Rutter
Bach of serial (opera)
chicken Balakirev
new door Handel
Golden Brahms
Clemen-TEA
Little Debussy snack cakes
Oscar Meyerbeer bologna

%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&&%&%&%&%&%

These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the state of Missouri...

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.

Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.
My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.
My favorite composer is Opus.
A harp is a nude piano.
A tuba is much larger than its name.
Instruments come in many sizes, shapes and orchestras.
You should always say celli when you mean there are two or more cellos.

A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.
The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.
When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
Question: What are kettle drums called?
Answer: Kettle drums.
Cymbals are round, metal CLANGS!
A bassoon looks like nothing I have ever heard.
Last month I found out how a clarinet works by taking it apart. I both found out and got in trouble.
Question: Is the saxophone a brass or a woodwind instrument?
Answer: Yes.

The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.
Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor.
Instrumentalist is a many-purposed word for many player-types.
The flute is a skinny-high shape-sounded instrument.

Anywhos! hope you enjoyed. There were more that I liked, but I feel that I shall not corrupt anyone today. Have a good one. Hugs to everybody!

Love, Jill

I just don't know

2005-12-20T17:55:00.000-08:00

I think that I'm happy... But with somebody's happiness, somebody else always seems to get hurt... like in band for instance, the person who gets first chair is happy, but second chair, is hurt... and with relationships, if two girls like a guy, and the guy only likes one of the girls.... somebody gets hurt, even if the other girl is happy....

I want people to be happy... but can't I think about my happiness too? I hate being the reason that someone else is sad.... life is complicated beyond belief, right now... I'm not sure what to do. I want to be happy, but I feel selfish when I am. Making me sad. I wish I could stop thinking of others and think of myself, but that doesn't feel right at all.

I also realized how much I HATE when people invite themselves to things... I don't care if they ask, because I can think about it before I can tell them no... but when they invite themselves, I don't feel like I can now say, "no... you're not coming" I think that the person doing something should be the one to invite, and I find myself being rude when I ask others if I can come.

So in all, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to do it, and I don't know if I would be doing the right thing.....

I just want to be happy.

Good weekends are awesome =o)

2005-11-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

So guess what number 1: Another Harry Potter post (at least a little bit of a post)! w00t! haha. so I bought a pack of 4 harry potter games for a grand total of $20! yeah! CHEAP! And they're the actual games, and not knock offs. They're so much fun. Yeah!!!

And guess what number 2: Dr. Dave Sessions was in the area for a funeral. And so he stopped by my house to say hi and visit for a little bit. It made me so happy !!!!!!!! I felt kinda sad when the band got to see him at Timpanogas Marching Competition. And now I'm not sad!! Because I got to see him too. That deffinetly made my weekend great!

And the last concept that made my weekend great is that I can hang out with my ex-boyfriend, and not be depressed afterwards, or mope around. He is still a good friend to me, even though I've said some really rude stuff to him. I know that I can turn to him for advice or just to talk to, and not worry about stuff. Some people may say that I choose really crappy best friends. But I think Joe's a best friend that isn't all that crappy. At this point in my life, what I need is a good friend, and not nescesarily a boyfriend. I can talk to Joe about whatever and not get judged. And that's why I'm glad I can consider him still a friend. And when I get in fights with my other friends, that I thought were closer and better people, I can go to Joe, and vent. Yeah, I miss being able to love him. But I love being able to confide in him (even for advice about guys). He's really the only guy I can talk about guys in my life, without him freaking out. So thanks Joe. For being a friend after everything that has come between us.

Tenor Sax-ness

2005-10-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! So thursday's Jazz Band concert was a hit, and it went totally well. I was actually quite proud of my solo. But here's the news. Dan the bari sax from PVHS was playing 1st tenor in jazz band. And he is going on his mission soon to California. So he is no longer playing with us. Well, before when Dan was with us, We had 3 altos, 2 tenors, and a bari. So now we have 3 altos, 1 tenor, and a bari. TOTAL UNBALANCE! So Dennis was talking and said, "Well, we'll need another tenor..." and turns to me and says, "it's either you or Liza" And I beyond doubt that Liza would take it. SO! I started to think about the advantages and disatvantages about this opportunity I have been given. And came to the conclussion that it would be great for me as a musician. Including, it'll give me a lot of more air support on the alto, I'll be confident in another woodwind, looking good on gig resumes.

So, I went to work and talked to Richard, and we only have one tenor available for rent, which is $65 a month.... :P and well, my mum came in with my brother, because he wanted to buy a guitar amp, so I told my mum about needing a decent tenor and not knowing what to do. And she rented the one tenor we had on the spot!!! it quite shocked me. It's a brand new, Vito. It's really pretty, and has a good tone. So I'm only going to rent it for about 3 to 4 months.

I'm really excited to play Tenor in jazz now. It kinda got old being a double on a part. Now I have my own part to play! lol. well, you all will have to come to my christmas concert on December 6th, I believe, and listen to me play tenor! haha. Have a great day and hugs to everyone.

Love, Jill

Maynard Ferguson Concert

2005-10-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the Maynard Ferguson concert at Ceder High! IT WAS GREAT! Christine went with me, so that totally made my day! :D Anyways, here I'll tell you the story.

We got to the high school a half hour early so we could get good seats, and decided to use the bathroom before getting our tickets and there are steps leading to the bathroom and ofcourse, I am sooooo NOT graceful, and tripped on the way back up the steps! I was soooo embarassed. But luckily only Christine saw it, even though many probably heard my, "OWE!!!" So then we went to find Dr. Caldwell, and we did, so got our tickets and went to sit down. so i waved to Faren Holt, and then talked to my friend Laren for a second, and asked if he was saving the seats that were near him, and he said yeah, so there were two empty seats right in front of them, so I go to sit and the guy sitting next to the empty seats was like, "umm... these are taken!" and I was like, "oh... just kidding then." and he was like, "Not really! They're empty" So we sat there. And laughed with the guy next to us and he was like, "sorry, that was really rude of me." and I said, "It's okay! I'm so gullible anyways!" and Christine laughed and said, "Yeah!!" So then Christine and I laughed and talked blah blah blah, then the show started.

I look at the stage, see the musicians, and begin to drool, The drummer! OHHH! He was so totally "Drool-worthy!" And automatically, every girl in the auditorium created a stream of slobber. ;) haha. But the music, OMG was AMAZING!!!!!! And I thought they were good on the stereo! I'm almost not deaf now! But it was like, "Don't stop! Come back! Play more!!!!" The Alto Sax player, SOOOO GOOD! he's only like 23 TOPS! And he is great! His final solo that he did was KILLER! Like, he added in some of Charlie Parker's style of more than one note at once and I almost couldn't breath with the aweness! It was sooooo coool! You'll have to ask me about the concert, because there is so much that I could tell you. Maynard Ferguson is sooo good! He can play like SUPER SUPER HIGH! I thought he was gonna die! Cuz he turns all red when he plays high notes, and he's like 80 years old! But it is sooooo cool cuz his son plays in the band with them, on trumpet. He is good too! I can't explain it it was just so... GREAT!

After the concert Christine and I decided to go get something to eat. So driving down the main road of ceder, I kept talking and forgetting to look for food. hahaha. So I admit it, I'm a little blonde sometimes. haha. After driving down the street like 3 times we go, "well, let's go this way and look for McDonalds or Wendys." And after getting lost in side streets finally found Burger King. It was really tastey! And I ate their french fries!!!! HECK YEAH! The drive home was really nice too. It's great to have a good friend that's a girl that I can talk girl stuff with. Which makes me want to talk about how wonderful my friends are. But that shall be for another post. :) cuz it'll be a long one! Well, love to everyone! And also hugs!

XOXO, Jillyyyyy

ignore the last post

2005-10-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Ignore my last post, I made a mistake in believing in something that is not really there. I should have listened to everyone who said that I was just making a mistake. Whoever said to give second chances, F*** you, You never got dumped.

Right Now

2005-10-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

So full of choices
I want to do
whatever makes me
the happiest inside

But so many expectations
Affraid to let them down
I just want to smile
And not worry at all

My heart, he still holds
I don't want him to stop
Not ever
No matter what.

"Move on"
That's what they say.
What if I don't?
Am I wrong?

Celaic Disease

2005-09-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

Make the awareness of Celiac Disease higher. Here are some quick facts:

- Celiac Disease is a condition in which there is a chronic reaction to certain protein chains, commonly referred to as glutens, found in some cereal grains. This reaction causes destruction of the villi in the small intestine, with resulting malabsorption of nutrients.

- Gluten includes any products made from Barley, Rye, Oats, and Wheat

- It is Genetic

- The amount of people can be as high as 1 in 150. But most people don't know they have this disease until it is too late and they have Colon Cancer.

- Often dismissed as Irratable Bowel Syndrom.

- For a list of symptoms and other FAQs about Celiac Disease, please visit www.celiac.com

Quick Note: I am a teen with celiac disease. I was lucky and found out before it was too late, and my dad was able to discover his from my symptoms and results. This disease seems to be so unknown to our cultures. I would like to spread the word to be able to help everyone with this disease be able to go on living a normal life without everyday having to explain exactly why they can't have the bun on their hamburger. Or anything that may be cross contaminated. Please help me out and pass this along. If anyone has questions, please contact Jill @ glutenfree4life@gmail.com

mmm, college boys....

2005-09-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since Joe and I broke up. And I've been kinda noticing guys at college. Dang some are cute!!! ;) Well, there is one in particular that makes me smile. His name is Austen. I met him in Jazz Band, he plays the piano, and is very talented. At first, all we did was small talk, like, "Hey, how's it going?" the end. But one day! I was like, "Okay, Austen is cute, talented, nice, and did I mention cute? Oh and he's short too!" Anyways. I said that to myself, and decided that I wanted to get to know him better. So I saw him sitting with a friend, studying. And went, "Now is perfect!!" So I ran out to my car and grabbed my "homework" so that I could study. Quietly I sat down next to them, didn't say a word. Probably was too scared to, haha. but that's okay, he doesn't need to know that. So about 5 seconds after I sat down, trying my hardest not to smile, Austen looks up and smiles at me and asks what I was working on. I smiled and told him, and then we started talking. He's really fun to talk to. :) So since then, everytime we see each other we wave and talk for a minute, see how each other is. lol, I know cheesey. But he really makes me smile. But it gets better!!!!! I was having some trouble with a math problem, and one of the days that Austen came over to say hi, I randomly asked him if he was good at math. With his gorgeous smile he nodded and said, "Actually, I am." So he helped me with my math. :D And let me tell you! HE SMELLS GOOD!!! ;) I feel like such a dork, everytime I see him I can't stop grinning. haha. he probably thinks I'm a freak, but he still talks to me, so I keep smiling!!! haha. I'm really starting to like Austen. But ofcourse, I'm a chicken, and haven't done much about my likingness!

So the moral of Jill's story: Stop being a chicken and I don't know what to do, just do something!! hugs to everyone.

love, Jill

I'm sorry.

2005-09-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean everything that I said in my last post. I was angry, and upset. I now realize that I hate the fact that I still love him... I could never hate him... No matter how badly he hurt me. Joe was a great first boyfriend. And a great first love. And I am very sad that he is no longer a part of me. But it was his choice, and if he doesn't want to be with me, then okay. I don't want him to do anything that makes him miserable. And if I make him unhappy, then I don't want him around me.

I'm sorry Joe. I wish I could fix things for you. I'll never forget what you gave to me. You helped and encouraged me to be who I am today. thanks.

2005-09-01T17:48:00.000-07:00

Joe dumped me last night. and right now, I hate him for it. Yet, stupidely, I want him back. I hope that every girl he looks at he'll think of how badly he hurt me. Joe if you read this, you did hurt me more than I can describe. You say you love me still, but why would you do that to me if you truely loved me? He stooped low. Kissing me that night, and then dumping me online. thanks Joe. Really apreciate it bud.

Anyways, for a little bit of good news. I got a permament job at Bert Murdock. Yesterday was a happy day for me until Joe ruined it.

I am not something you can play with. That goes for everyone. When you say something, I literally take it in as the truth. Joe had told me that I needed to be more relaxed and not take things so seriously. So congratulations Joe, I'm not taking you seriously that you still love me.

I GREW!!!!!

2005-07-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHAT! I grew 3/4 of an inch! I am now, drumroll please. *drums begin*

5'1"

Yes! I am so happy to be growing!

Versions of the term "Throw Up"

2005-07-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Puke
Vomit
Ralf
Throw Up
Bowing down to the porceline god
Talking on the big white telephone
Technicolor yawn
Chunky Spit
Atomic burp
Kneeling before the porceline king
Blowing chunks
Retch
Upchuck
Lose your lunch
Pray to the porcelain god
Barf
Heave
Toss your cookies
Hurl
Spew
Chunk Belch
Driving the Porceline bus
Disgorge
Heavy spit
Psychadelic Belch
Spitup
Purge
Regurgitate
Riding the porceline schoolbus
Roundtrip meal ticket
Stomach stew
Wet cough
Yack
Yodeling in the thundermug

There you go! Reply if you have more!

Honestly glad

2005-07-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry about my last post. I was really upset, and depressed. And basically hated myself. Thanks for replying, it made me feel better. The reasons that I was depressed are now fixed. Sorry that I freaked Joe, I love you, and will promise to think more. Miah, I consider you one of my best friends too. Sorry I've been a butt to a lot of people. I can only take so much teasing before I explode. And I went a long while without exploding, so it was even bigger.

Now about my post. I can honestly say that I am glad that I am not in high school band anymore. I love my friends in it. And I loved it when Sess was still there. But I felt like band was a chore last year, I dredded going to pep band, I hated getting up at 6 am to be at the school by 7 for jazz. And I felt bad that I was dragging my self to class everyday. I love band, don't get me wrong. But I really did not like playing for Mr. Morrise. I'm glad for those of you guys that do. But I was the opposite of what he saw that president should be like. I'm not friends with everyone, and who cares? really? Evidently Mr. Morrise. So he made my job as Prez a living nightmare. I will never forget the friends that I have made, and hope that I get to see all of them on ocation. But I couldn't take the stress of doing band another year for Mr. Morrise. I'm very excited for college band! I'm excited to be in a place where we're all adults, nobody is forced to play. And people won't be there just because their best friend is. It'll become a more serious matter, where we play everyday, and don't sit there and listen to talking about... I never paid that much actually. I would get bored, and run through fingerings of runs on my sax. So those of you still in band, good for you! And those who aren't, I don't blame you. Thank you to everyone that was a good sport in band and made it durrable for me.

Why do I have to be such a burden?

2005-06-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

At 18 I am as you could say, "falling apart." I thought being young was about being careless and having fun. But I have to read the label of everything that I eat. And it SUCKS. I hate it! I also have bad asthma, which makes it hard to do activities that require a lot of movement. Marching Band was like the limit for me. I feel bad because I can't go do certain activities with certain people because I'm limited. I also found out that my hearing is seriously decreasing in the low ranges, and I either have to get a survery done, or get hearing aids. and we're leaning towards the surgery. and that really scares me quite bad. I feel like I've been a burden to everyone because they have to accomodate my disease, and then they feel bad when I can't eat something. And I don't want them to feel bad! I want to live a normal life! I hate how men have to raise their voice for me to hear and understand them. I feel really bad because my boyfriend has to deal with all of this. I don't know how he does it. He could get any girl that is prettier than me, and nicer, and can just go out and eat somewhere with. Why me? I'm not sure if I'll ever know. I feel like a burden to my family, and my boyfriend, and my friends, and my peers. Sometimes I feel that if I was just not here, everyone would be much happier. I'm sorry Joe, I really am. If I could change my self, I would in an instance. I wish I could go hiking with you, and just go and have fun. I wish I could just pick out some random type of chip and start chowing down. I would change myself for you, so that you wouldn't have to deal with my stupidness. But I can't. So what should I do?

Goals

2005-06-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite quotes is

"A goal is a dream with a finish line." by Duke Ellington

I really like that quote. It gets you thinking on what your own personal goals should be. Some of my goals for this summer are.

Go to Disneyland (Done)
Get a job
Have my very own puppy
Volunteer at the Animal Shelter
Learn to bake Gluten Free
practice my bagpipes more

As I think of more, I will add them on. This may not nescesarily have been a tell the world about my life, but it's more like a checklist for me. Thanks for reading though, and please comment some of your summer goals. love ya.

Survey

2005-05-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:30 2. Diamonds or pearls? Oh I dunno.... Diamonds are pretty though. 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? A Lot Like Love 4. What ARE your favorite TV shows? Gilmore Girls, Boy Meets World 5. What did you have for breakfast? Corn Crunch Ums (gluten free corn chex) 6. What is your middle name? Marie, Shortened from my mum's middle name, Margurite. 7. What is your favorite cuisine? ummm..... Rice and spageti sauce. 8. What foods do you dislike? Anything with Gluten, and sea food. 9. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Banana Split Blizard 10. What is your favorite CD at this moment? Josh Groban, and Ambeon 11. What kind of car do you drive? dodge Stratus 12. Favorite sandwich? anything between two slabs of letuce. 13. What characteristic do you despise? people that don't think of consequences, and people that are hipocrits. 14. Favorite item of clothing & Stores? Probably my new pants, and I love to shop at trendy stores, and get the clothes off the clearance racks. 15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? London, it seems so cool. 16. What color is your bathroom? Green and blue, and white sponged.17. What is your favorite brand of clothing? oh I dunno, I just go off of comfort and style. 18. Where would you retire to? somewhere in California. Near the ocean. I have my dream house already in mind ;) Infact, I'll explain it. I have a big white house that has red shutters, and it's very country looking. With a white picket fence around the entire thing. And a stone walkway, leading to the front door. and in the back, there's a deck, and a decent sized back yard, and lots of grass. And a little water fall, and there are flowers lining the fence. And it over looks the ocean. That is all. 19. Favorite time of the day? evening. 20. What was your most memorable birthday? Probably last year, because my crush, now boyfriend, was there, and I was very giddy. 21. Where were you born? St. George, UT 22. Favorite sport to watch? DRUM CORPS INTERNATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? umm... Probably Joe 24. Person you expect to send it back first? My guess is Cary. 25. What fabric detergent do you use? umm... little tablets? 26. Coke or Pepsi? I like coke, cuz I can drink it. But I love Dew! 27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl for the most part. 28. What is your shoe size? ummm.... 3 in little kids, but 5 in womens. 29. Do you have any pets? Yes! I have 3 cats, 2 dogs, plus a puppy to be adopted, a dove, and a goat! yay! 30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family & friends? I graduate in 4 days! And I turn 18 in 7 days!! w00t! 31. What did you want to be when you were little? a puppy or a cat. Also Michaelangelo, the ninja turtle. 32. What are you doing today? I woke up, went to town with my mum, went back to town with my mum, hung out with Joe, went to leeds for dinner, and now I am sitting here. 33. What is your favorite color? PURPLE! and Pink is good too!

Scholarship Night

2005-05-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight was Scholarship night at the high school. I got to sit and watch my friends get some awesome awards. I was really excited, when it was time to announce the scholarships to Dixie. It was the only school I applied for, dunno why. But I was awaiting a band scholarship from there, and was hoping it would come tonight. They called my name up, I was very excited. I got a 4 year scholarship for academics ($2,400) and a four year band scholarship ($3,200) yay!!! So yeah, I just thought I'd share that. Have a good day. see ya!

2005-05-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

My Brand New Flute........

So guess what! I was on Ebay, just looking at some pretty flutes, and drooling. But!!! I found a brand new one for about $55 dollars. I ended up actually winning it! I am so excited! It is very pretty! and I ended up only paying $58 + $18 for shipping. Which isn't bad, considering it's coming from australia! I can't wait till I get it! So I just thought I'd let everyone know my exciting news! Also, tons of thanks to my mum for letting me bid on it! I love you mum! Welp, I hope that everyone has a great day! Love, Jill.

2005-04-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

Prom: Here is me and my handsome date, and wonderful boyfriend, Joe. I love him to pieces!

We were like sheep

2005-04-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty much average day. Other than there were Drum Major auditions today during band, which went well. Then I went to 7th hour, blah blah blah. Then like always, I headed to the band room. Only, today was different. Like everyone and their dog, and their cat, and their hamsters, were in the band room. All in a very crowded circle. Jerry runs to me and says, "He's here! Sess is here!" I was in shock for about 3 seconds, then dropped my stuff, running to the center of the circle. My heart skipped as I saw the man that taught me everything I know about band. I then stepped into the circle where he was surounded and threw my arms around his neck, giving him a big hug. It felt so good to see him again, after so long. We then all followed Sessions to the auditorium, then to the choir room. We were like sheep, following our dearest shepard.

Prom

2005-04-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so yesterday (April 16th) was Prom. On friday, Joe and I were discussing what to do for our day-date. We thought about joining a few groups, but none of the ideas shouted at us to join. So Joe and I had our own date, which was very quite fun. We had decided to make breakfast together, play with dominos, and then go see the Army Band perform! Breakfast was really good. I made the bacon, while Joe made me some Gluten-Free Pancakes. Which ended up tasting pretty good. Now for Dominos. We had 201 to work with. It was a lot of fun. The first one we built worked perfectly! The rest, not so hot. lol. They're very hard to stand up. I swept the floor and all, but evidently it needed a mopping too. oh, well. I was building a cat, but it fell over and died. haha. Joe had some really good ideas. Including building an over pass and a merge lane. But ofcourse, he's kept falling over too. After about three hours of playing with dominos, it was time to drive to Cedar City and watch the Army Band.

The band was reallllly cool. Some of the songs got kind of boring, but they were the ones that were about 10 minutes long. It was amazing listening to the perfect balance of sections. The low brass were way loud, which was sooo awesome to hear, and the high woodwinds were heard well too. I wish that was possible with our band. Everyone said that the Tubas over powered the high winds, but really, I think high winds need to kick it up a noch. they're WAY MORE of them than the lowbrass. (Army Band had 4 tubas, 6 trombones, versus 5 flutes, and 5 clarinets) But yeah, the concert was amazing. I'd go listen to them again any time.

After the concert we went to Dairy Queen in Cedar. I got a banana split blizard (so good!!!). Joe had introduced me to one on friday. We then started heading back home. But ofcourse, we had to do a GeoCache before we were done. We did our 100th cache. I felt happy, because I was able to find it. :) The boys (Joe and Jared-my little brother) were searching for the cache by using the coordinates on the GPS, but I just kinda looked. And found it in the opposite dirrection that they were looking. My mum decided to leave the equivalency of 100 pennies (she left a dollar) for the mark of our hundredth cache.

Joe got ready for the dance at my house, since his mum was out of town. Joe, Jared, and my cousin Colter, played with some more dominos while I showered, getting ready for the big dance. It was now Joe's turn to get ready, ofcourse he took about 1/2 as long to get ready as it took me just to shower. But that's alright. Haley came over to do my hair, I was very excited. First we had chicken with rice for dinner- quite tastey- then started in on my hair. We weren't sure exactly how to do it, so we tried a few ways that ended up not working. So then we decided on a bun type thing (I'll show a picture). It was very pretty. I love it when Haley does my hair. Now I had to go get my dress on. -which didn't take long- I let my brother matt take some pictures of Joe alone before I stepped out in my dress. When I did come out, Joe looked very happy, which is a good thing. Joe looked very handsome. So we had lots of pictures taken, put the flowers on each other. (the shop messed them up btw, but they were still pretty) blah blah blah, now I'll talk about the actual dance.

The line for pictures took FOREVER..... and then the actual pictures took 30 seconds. We then carpooled with a couple of Joe's drama friends to the dance. So that was cool. The music was better than preference's, but still was hard to dance to. We saw Alyse and Wes there, they looked so cute, we saw Zach, Charles, Ben and their dates. (Ben looked soooo happy! It was way cute!) McKray and Christine were there too. Christine wore a really cool Kimono type outfit. Very classy. Everyone looked to be having a really good time at the dance. There's not much else to say about the dance, because it was a dance... and everyone knows how those are. I had a really good time. And was very happy to have been able to go with Joe.

in short: Prom was wonderful :):):)

Weird Teenage Girls....

2005-04-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a teenage boy that only really had girls as friends. But then this girl that was once just a friend, began to be more than just a friend. The boy and girl are now dating, and really like each other. But here comes the stupid part: other girls, that never noticed this boy before, notice him. And they flirt with him... But wait, doesn't he have a girlfriend?

Why do girls do this? It's like their goal in life is break people up, so that they can have the guy for themselves... Here's a little scenario that happened yesterday to me.

Girl: Hi (insert boy's name here)!! *gives boy hug*
Boy: Umm... Okay... *walks over to his girlfriend and hugs* Hi (insert girlfriend's name here)!!
Girl: Sorry if I make you jealous!
Girlfriend: Umm... whatever....

Okay, is that not the stupidest thing?! There's two outcomes of this. Luckily, I have the best boyfriend in the world. But why girls? Why do you do this??? ONE: the guy leaves his girlfriend for you, how do you know that he's not going to leave you too, for the first other girl to look his way. And TWO: He ignores you and stays with his girlfriend that is evidently better than you... (no offense to any girls)

But SERIOUSLY! either way YOU LOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give it up! Stop trying to break people up! Go for single guys! And if it's bad enough to make the girlfriend dislike you, then just don't do it! Because rumors go around, then every girl will hate you!

I don't mind friendly talk at all! Believe me, my best friends are guys! But when you're hanging on the boyfriend, hugging him, etc. It's time to back off. And no, I have no reason to be jealous of these girls. Because my boyfriend loves me, and wouldn't do anything like that to me.

So to Joe: thank you, and I love you.

Wisdom Teeth

2005-04-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

My wisdom teeth are coming in. I am in pain. This sucks. I have region band this week, and region choir the week after. i hate this. somebody just put me out of my misery, please. I need lots of drugs... Why do they have to be now? maybe if I get them out like friday this coming week, I'll be better by the time choir hits. I really hope so. Because I would feel kinda bad if I didn't make it. ya know? And Joe, I know how you felt now. I need a hug. :( *pouting* yes, I am a weakling. and a wuse. and I don't care much right now. but why right now? Why not in like 2 weeks from now? I can't chew, we're out of soup. I want chicken and rice soup. or maybe I just want rice with spaggeti sauce. I don't know. but I am going now. goodbye.

The Invisible Rose

2005-03-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

Silently she sat,
Never bothering anyone,
Never being noticed.

Yet there she stayed,
Forever humble,
So sweet she was,
But no one stopped to tell.

The water glistened on her sholders,
Looking as if faeries sprayed crystal dust upon her.

Her heart begain to shout, "Look at me!"
But nobody seemed to hear her cries.

The sun had now set behind the mountain,
Leaving her beauty to rest in the dark,
She sighed and drifted to the one place she felt noticed.

Another day began,
She still had not been seen
The young beauty that once resided next to her was gone,
And her own time was growing long.

Her beauty began to wilt,
The uniqueness of her began to fade into the background,
She then knew that forever she would be just an Invisible Rose.

This was written by me: Jill Montgomery, and please, I'd like to keep it that way. Thanks. :)

I love being loved

2005-03-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

It is one feeling to love, but it is another to know you are loved in return.

Joe and I have been dating for quite some time now, and it has been the most wonderful experience that I have ever been given the chance to live. We took things really slowly at the beginning, which I am very grateful for. We had our first kiss on the 4th of July, very early that morning :) I felt like I was floating on clouds, and that nothing could way me down. I was giggly, and full of energy. I must admit, I'm a spazz and panicked when he kissed me, and didn't know what to do. But the 2nd time, when he dropped me off at my door, was great. ;) I still often get butterflies in my stomach and feel light as a feather when he kisses me. We continued to take things slowly even still. I got pleanty of crap from people about dating Joe, how it would never last, and that I shouldn't date him because he's catholic. And boy, am I glad I didn't listen to them!

He had told me when we first started dating, that he wouldn't tell me that he loved me, until he knew it for himself. I was so releived to know that I wasn't the only one who hated how thrown around the phrase "I love you" is. And it made it so much more special when he told me for the first time that he loved me. Again, I felt like I was being lifted up onto a cloud. Out of shock I asked, "really?" and he smiled at me and said, "yeah. I really do" at this point I knew that Joe loved me, but I didn't KNOW.

Last night, was when I knew for myself that he really did love me, and nothing was going to change that. Joe came over after work, and we hung out, talked to my mum, then watched episodes of The Simpsons on dvd. Things were going great, and I had a lovely time cuddling up next to him. But then I got a sudden pain in my stomach, feeling like I was going to throw up at any given time. I quickly took the nasty pink medicine, and sat back down on the couch, still in incredible amounts of pain. Joe kept asking me if I was okay, and would rub my back, trying to make me feel better. I knew I wouldn't be able to drive him home that night, and he understood, and agreed to call his mum for a ride, since mine was already in bed. Joe walked me into my bedroom, wrapped up in my blanket, and kissed me goodnight, telling me that he loved me. I was asleep within a few minutes, but in the morning when I awoke, I knew that he really loves me.

Spring Break

2005-03-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

So far spring break has been a ton of fun! on friday, it was Joe's birthday, so we hung out, then went to dinner at the golden coral. It was a a lot of fun :D Then saturday, Katie (Joe's sister) and I hung out and watched a ton of movies, including 10 Things I Hate About You, Two Weeks Notice, and Billy Elliot. It was great! Then sunday, Joe and I hung out and we went geocaching. Then I went to my gramma's house and spent the night. I like it there, it's a very happy place. :) Then we went shopping on monday in vegas, it was cool. I got a couple shirts and some earrings. Then there was yesterday, and I'll need a new paragraph for this one.

Tuesday, Yesterday, Joe took me Skiing with his family. It was A LOT of fun!!! The Masseys and Zach and Wes were also there, so that was cool. It was really hard at first, and I ended up just walking down the hill, haha. Then Joe helped me to understand HOW to ski. And I got the hang of it after a little bit. Then Joe and I rode the lift up the hill again. It was now time for me to try to make it all the way down the hill. I started going, and I was so excited, because I wasn't falling, yet I wasn't going super fast! In no time I reached the bottom, and guess what! I never fell! I was so proud of myself! It felt great! Joe met me at the bottom and was excited for me too. So we went up again! He then convinced me to go on the steeper hill. Lol, big mistake! I was going just fine and dandy, then I started getting going too fast. My heart was pounding and I couldn't breath, I didn't know what to do anymore, so I just let my self fall. hahaha. All I could see was what puffs of snow until I came to a stop. It hurt a bit so I just walked the last bit of the hill, carrying my skis. Joe said he watched me biff it and said that it was awesome. haha. The we decided to take a break for lunch, which was great, string cheese, and lunch meat, and chips, oh AND Mountain Dew. After eating a filling lunch and chilling for quite a bit, we decided to hit the slopes again. After a lot of falls and sliding, the day was over. We had spent all day skiing and it was extreamley fun!

Now for today. I woke up bright and early, and SORE! Ugh! my muscels hurt worse than after band camp! Then I got to endure another long ride to Vegas, to get our Active Duty military ID cards. I slept most of the way there. We went shopping a bit, but mostly "browsing" I got a cute pair of Pink Capris. so that was fun. But that's all. Because now it is dinner time, and the Joe and I are going to hang out. I hope the rest of my break will be as fun as it has been so far. :)

2005-03-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

Here we are, all ready for the dance. :):)

2005-03-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

Me and Joe looking cute. :)

Dance/Beagle

2005-03-06T20:15:00.000-08:00

Well guys, I named her Lucy. :) She is so special to me, and I am very happy to have her in my life. We signed the adoption papers on Saturday, and she is being spayed on monday, and we pick her up from Dr. Bice's office. We've been getting her nescesities, like leashes and collars and stuff, lately. So she is already totally spoiled. haha.

Now about the dance. Preference was lots of fun. Joe looked stunning in his tux! :) I was very giddy when I saw him. Matt took a ton of pictures and so did Joe's mum, and my mum as well. They kept having us pose. Me, being the dorky-spaz I am, couldn't hold still without giggling. Well, at one point, they were having us pose a kiss, and of course, I was trying so hard not to giggle. Needless to say, it didn't last long. I was giggling while still kissing Joe, and sprayed spit all over him. And of course, I just had to burst out laughing by the look on his face. (Sorry Joe!!!! I love you :)) The music deffinetly sucked at the dance. but the guys had some really nice dance moves. :) hahaha. Joe was deffinetly the past part of the entire evening. He was very thoughtful when he gave me his jacket when we sat on the hood of the car, waiting for my mum to bring us a key. lol. The way he looked at me as we danced still makes me smile when I think about it. So even though the music sucked, I highly enjoyed the company that I was with.

Well, that is all for now. If I know you, I'll talk to ya about it a ton. lol. buh bye everyone!

What shall we name her?

2005-02-28T19:17:00.000-08:00

Well, we're going to apply for a kennel liscense tomorow, to adopt the beagle. She's at the pound right now, staying the week that is required to give the owners a chance to find her. But she seems quite skittish and starved, so I think she's a stray. I'm so excited, I absolutely love her to pieces!

Anywho! lol. I'm like bouncing off the walls here. If anyone has ideas for names for her, go ahead and reply with them. :) thanks!! Have a great day!

Jill

Happy Beagle Puppy

2005-02-27T21:01:00.000-08:00

As you see below, the beagle puppy that adopted us today. Well, we think she's beagle anyways. Well anyways, I was having a bad day, and we were coming home from St. George, and as I opened the car door to get out, she ran up and stuck her nose to me, almost getting in the car. I dropped everything, and just pet her, and she was so sweet. I picked her up and took her to a couple of neighbors, seeing if they knew who she belonged to. Nobody knew. She was collar-less and looked worn out. Her pads on her feet were worn away and she was quite hungry and thursty. So we think she is a stray. We let her in the house, and she had a grand ole time slipping on our wood floors. Her floppy ears bouncing. I gave her the stuffed animal squeaky thing that I've had since my puppy Smokey died. She loved it. Roscoe even let her chew on his monkey head squeaker that lost its squeak. hahaha. Well, I don't know where she is now. Hopefully asleep somewhere in our yard. I really hope we get to keep her. She is very sweet, and very cute.

2005-02-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

And again. Isn't she just so cute?!

2005-02-27T12:57:00.001-08:00

Here she is again.

2005-02-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

This the foxhound that showed up. She is so adorable. We've all fallen in love.

Simple things in life

2005-02-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm writing in english again. That last post was mostly just my way of venting where people can't get mad at me if they read it.

Has anyone ever noticed that it's the simple things in life that make a person happy? Here's a list of simple things that make me happy:
-a reed that is in super good shape
-playing on petz 4
-roses
-any flowers, actually...

quick story. Friday, I was walking across my front lawn after Morgan dropped me off, and I looked at the ground, and saw a very pretty flower in the grass. I left it there for anyone else that might come across it. It made me smile a lot.

-listening to Brian Regan on a depressive day.
-new earings
-free samples
-cute bobby-pins
-beanie babies
-mountain dew
-Hansen's Soda: Cherry Vanilla Creame
-long walks with my dog
-long drives through nature
-marching uniforms
-lip gloss
-cute socks
-gluten free cookies
-pie filling
-cheese
-kittens
-puppies
-goldfish
-birds singing
-grilled cheese sandwhiches
-penguins
-cute shoes for cheap
-finding a dollar in my messy room
-calls on my cell phone
-fat cats
-glow in the dark stars
-chapstick that smells good
-peaches
-toys in cereal boxes
-fuzzy slippers
-E.T.
-stylin' belts
-Dinkles
-Joe
-ice cream
-Lattes with yummy flavors added

Well, that made me feel better. Hope it gets you guys happy too. bye.

this one's in French

2005-02-25T17:09:00.000-08:00

I changed my post to French, if anyone is really that interested in reading it, go ahead and translate it. If people don't want to be "offended" and "hurt" again, don't read it. It is now your choice. Don't blame me for warning you.

Je suis triste. Je me sens comme les gens sont des ânes totaux de ce insitent de bande de jazz. Et qu'ils devraient juste me part seul. Cela vous INCLUT Mckray ! J'essaie d'être une bonne personne... mais il toujours m'obtient dans plus d'ennui. Je suis une personne beaucoup différente que l'année dernière. Et je serais plus heureux si je n'ai pas eu de gens stupides sont moyens à moi. Je suis content que je ne vais pas au séminaire. Pourtant les gens semblent me traiter différemment à cause de lui. Je déteste notre culture ! Ils sont juste signifie et manipulateur ! Certains de mes amis sont toujours ici pour moi. Mais je ne peux pas pouvoir seulement 3 ou 4 que sont. la quatrième personne dépend du jour. Hmm, et ils semblent être gars.je manque Sess, il toujours a fait des choses améliorer. Les gens étaient plus heureux quand il était ici. Le Jazz de région est mercredi prochain. Pas à nerveux de cela. Je sais que je serai blâmé si nous ne faisons pas le déclarer. Et je sais que les gens le frotteront dans ma face si nous faisons. Si ou la façon, je perds. Pourquoi dois-j'être la personne pour perdre les deux chemin ? J'ai perdu assez cette année. C'est été à peu près 5 heures puisque je dure ai vu Joe, et je le manque. Je souhaite qu'il pourrait juste me tient dans le sien arme et me protège. Ma maman est en le colère contre moi maintenant, et je ne sais pas pourquoi. Evidemment je suis juste la personne heureuse pour être sur tout le monde la mauvaise liste.. Je ne sais pas si je veux aller sur le voyage de bande plus, si tout le monde allant me détester juste. Je veux aller à la Terre de Disney, et je veux aller avec Joe. Mais je ne sais plus juste... je fait vraiment veut dépenser mon argent sur un voyage que les gens feront juste est crule à moi sur ? Je me demande parfois si la bande a besoin de moi à tout... si je n'étais jamais le président, les choses seraient-ils allées mieux pour eux ? Je ne semble pas voulu maintenant, donc je ne vois pas pourquoi que je serais voulu en premier lieu. ... J'ai utilisé pour avoir beaucoup d'amis... mais ils ont terminé quand je ne déchargerais pas Joe, et aimé passant du temps avec lui. Et je suis content que je suis calme avec lui. Il me fait plus heureux que n'importe quoi fait d'autre. Cela inclut du Fromage Facile. ;) Et pour vous bugging de gars me de M. Morrise, et le blessant. Qu'est bien le moindre de mes inquiétudes. Il mérite pour entendre que j'étais fou. Il vraiment m'a offensé, et maintenant je probablement n'essaierai pas pour mon solo de bach pour la région. Il a ruiné mes rêves pour aller Déclarer que le Solo et l'Ensemble en diant que je ne serais jamais assez bon. Je suis une personne très bleue, et everytime quelqu'un dit quelque chose comme cela, il obtient marqué dans mon coeur et mon esprit pour un temps très long.

leave me alone

2005-02-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

That last post is exactly how I felt at the time. So leave me alone, I am not changing it. And every one of you has no right to tell me to get over it, because I know that all of you have gotten your feelings severely hurt, and you know that emotions run hay-wire, and you may say something that you don't exactly mean, but you still say it. I DON'T want to be Lindsey's friend. And I don't care if you guys hate me for it. I'm not like the other girls in this culture, the ones that change who they are to have friends, and just "go with the flow." I am who I am, and that's not going to change. So let me take my own time at this, I don't do things on other peoples's time, I do them on mind. If I don't want to appologize to Lindsey, I don't have to to. And I frankly find no reason to either. AND I AM NOT DROPPING JAZZ BAND! I NEVER SAID I WAS!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD I LET THEM DOWN???? I'M NOT ONE TO LET THE BAND DOWN, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DISLIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE IN IT! AND YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT! I COULD HAVE JUST IGNORED MR. MORRISE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR LIKE THE REST OF YOU, BUT I HELPED HIM OUT WITH THE BAND, NOT WANTING YOU GUYS HATING HIM ALL YEAR. NOW I DISLIKE HIM, BUT I STILL DO BAND THINGS. I SHOW UP TO EVERYTHING FOR BAND ON TIME, AND I DO MY BEST EVERYTIME. THAT'S WHY SESS TRUSTED ME TO LEAD THE BAND, BECAUSE I NEVER GIVE UP ON THEM. So stop, please.

hating what I love

2005-02-24T09:01:00.000-08:00

Today in jazz band was horrible, I'm hating doing the thing that I love because certain people are making it stupid and pointless to even try. I've been trying really hard in jazz band, to know my runs, which are easy because all they are are damn scales. Anyways, evidently stupid Lindsey is the only one that can play anything right and that we always sound good when she's playing with us, this is all according to mr. morrise. He told us other saxes that we sound horrible without her. But has he ever thought that if he would open his ears and listen to somebody other than Lindsey he would realize that she is just one player, and can't connect our brains to her and play the same rhythms at the same time. I miss Sess so freakin much. He was the best thing that ever happend to the band. When he was here, it was a two year running joke about connecting all of the saxes brains together. (this was when I was section leader, mind you) Well, we never seemed to fail that we could play a rhythm perfectly wrong and still be together, as one. the rhythm would just be some random slip up, but it was always together. I can't wait until I graduate, then I don't have to listen to mr. morrise and I can play in a band that the dirrector wants to be with, and not in some junior high. What mr. morrise said, I find unnexeptable. Yeah, so he's stressed that region jazz is in a week. Well, he should've been stressed earlier, so that we can cover little things in the song, like nit picky things. But now we're trying to throw together music that hasn't been picked at. Wouldn't you think that it is HIS job to teach us to play together? We can all know the exact rhythms and fingerings, but if we can't play together, it's worth nothing. So why is he telling us that we don't know our fingerings? Because he's only listened to one person, not all of us. So he thinks that she is right no matter what. So damn mr. morrise, and damn lindsey. they can both go to hell.

Happy Valentines Day!

2005-02-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentines Day. This is the first year that I've actually loved it. :) Having a boyfriend really makes a difference. ;)
In elementry school, you would always get those cute little cards from everyone in your class. You know the ones with the popular tv show character on it or maybe some cute little train that says, "I choo-choo-choose you!" (Simpson's reference for any mormons reading.) Well, in elementry school I felt like nobody really wanted to give me a valentine. I was one of those kids that it just said "Jill" or maybe sometimes nothing at all because the other kids forgot. While all my friends got big ones from their best friends or maybe from that cute boy who sits across the room. Well, this year I had a very lovely time. :)
My wonderful boyfriend took me out to dinner and a movie (Finding Neverland) last night. I had a really really nice time. We didn't do anything too fancy, but it was the fact that we got to spend a wonderful evening with each other. It was really nice, especially since I wasn't sick from the food. I would've felt bad if I was. But I wasn't, so let's not dwell on what could have happend.
I've come to love hugs and kisses much more than the scrumptious chocolates. To me a hug means, "I care about you, and I will hold you and keep you safe whenever you need me to." While a kiss means, "I love you, and will always love you." Both are very comforting to me, and I won't hesitate accepting them from that special someone.
Well, now I am in my final year of high school and find giving valentines cards to everyone in every single class a little silly. Ones from your really good friends are always nice to have. Last year my best friend gave me a card, and I felt touched, because he would always deny that we hung out every weekend. haha. This year we are far from even being friends. Things happend and I got ditched for a girl... three or four times, each time being about a month long of ditching. haha. Not to mention the SAME girl. :P So I got sick of it, and ended our friendship, figured that if he was going to ditch me every time this girl looked at him and didn't smack him in the face, I wasn't worth it to him. Anyways... next subject.
"Singles Awareness Day" I was very Pro S.A.D. oh hey... that spells sad.... aww.... anyways! S.A.D. was a very big thing among us that we're boy/girlfriend-less. We would mope and eat lots of chocolate while watching sappy chic-fliks where the girl finally meets Prince Charming and falls madly in love. Well, now I have my very own Prince Charming. While he may not be perfectly "Charming" (And I do constantly tease him), he is my Prince, who came and swept me off my feet, never dropping me. He is my G.I. Joe, and my Button-Turner. ;) And I love him more than anything. So goodbye S.A.D. forever, and hello Valentines Day!

2005-02-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

Me carrying our big fat winner trophy. :D We were marching champs all four years of my high school career. And that saxophone, is my baby.

Rough Week

2005-01-26T22:46:00.000-08:00

This week has been long and hard, and it is only wednesday. On monday morning, I woke up at aproximately 5 am. To say goodbye to my dad, who was leaving for a year and a half of active duty for the National Guard. I love my dad, and am really proud to say that my dad is willing to fight for everyone in his country. But I do miss him already. And yesterday (tuesday), tragically my sweet little hamster, Daphne, passed away. I don't know how. She was very happy and running as fast as her little legs could carry her on that hamster wheel of hers just that morning. She hadn't escaped for a month now, and I was proud that I could brag that she hadn't escaped. And I miss her more than ever now. She finally let me hold her again Monday morning, before we lefter for the armory. It made me happy to think, that she wasn't terrified of me the day that she died. But I still feel bad that one of my pets died, and there was probably nothing I could do about it. As soon as I found out, I called my boyfriend on the phone in tears. He stayed on the phone with me until he knew that I would be okay. Which made me feel quite a bit better, even if I was still crying. Today was a rough day all together. It was almost as if I was waiting for something to make me cry happen. I normally don't cry two days in a row on completely different matter. I got a bit stressed out over these re-auditons for Spazz Band, and it seemed like if anything went wrong the slightest bit, that it would be too much.

In sociology this week, I descovered that I am a Blue. Meaning that I am quite an emotional person, and that I deal with stress until it is too big to handle and then I explode over something as simple as not putting away the cheese. I agree completely that I am a blue. I can be very self-critical and blame myself for things that are in no way my fault.

I can't wait for the band trip to Disney Land in the first of the summer. I have never been there, and I get more and more anxious day by day. We're going to have the opportunity to do a recording session while there, which will be way awesome! My boyfriend made me promise that I would go on Space Mountain with him, and I tried to make him promise to go on the tea-cups with me. haha. But he convinced me that I didn't want to go on them. So then I made him promise that we go see Mickey Mouse. I used to feel that Mickey Mouse was over-rated, but now he is adorable.

2005-01-26T21:42:00.000-08:00

My hamster Daphne on the left of the cage.

Honor Band

2005-01-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a lot of fun. I got to participate in the Honor Band for my final year. It's sad to leave it behind, I have made some good friends from other schools and always loved getting excited for the next year's group and awesome music. We played way cool music! I wish it would last forever. Okay, so maybe not forever. But two days seemed so short. I learned a lot, maybe not from what was said, but mentally. I feel like a more accomplished person after this year. Last year I was kind of immature and didn't take it very seriously. I wish I had. But there are deffinetly no regrets from being in it this year. I got to sit by Kevin, an awesome PV kid, and got to chat with Valarie, who goes to SC. I will never forget what I learned from both of them. From Valarie, I learned to play with confidence and to never hold back from being the best you can be. And from Kevin, I learned that it's okay to make mistakes, just don't let them happen again, and to play with emotion, let yourself feel the music. Both of them are very fine players. I sat by Valarie for the first two years of honor band, and Kevin with the 1st and 3rd. It was really fun to think about how much we changed in 3 years. Valarie wouldn't even talk to me our 1st year, she was kinda snobbish, but now when we see each other, we get all excited and talk. Kevin and I flirted way too much our first year, maybe distracting our selves from music. But later I found that he had a girlfriend, so that sucked. hahaha. Kevin and I don't flirt anymore, but we act as if we have been good friends for a very long time, talking about how the certain piece we're playing makes us feel excited or even depressed. And deffinetly of what John Williams song parts reminded of us. ET was a common answer. hahaha. Go figure with me. ;) I don't think I would have traded this weekend for anything. Even to have my gluten allergy rid of and then a nice cold can of spaggetios.... Plus I can tongue better than ever! (get your minds out of the gutter) Seriously! I even surprised myself! I can't wait to get back to band class to show off my super speediness with tonguing! Thanks to Farandole, Puszta, and Nostradamus! Those pieces were deffinetly killers, but made me a much better player. I can finally read Dr. Caldwell's dirrecting style! My sophmore year, I ignored him, and just went the tempo. Last year (junior year) I called it Wingardium Leviosa style, and this year, I actually got it! Even though it's frilly and kinda weird, it is very precise where one lands. Well, now that I've bored everyone to death of my learnings of Honor Band, I think I need to go to bed. It's getting late, and I'm kinda sleepy. So goodnight, and if you're not in band, join band, cause it's super awesome. And I likes it a lot. ;)
~*~Jill~*~ <--- don't they look like flowers with petals? .... j/k

New Schedule rocks!!!!

2005-01-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

So school is back in session. "What a bore!" was my first thought... but then, I realized that I have like the coolest schedule! So I got Jazz Band, math, then english. Then 4 hours with Mr. Morrise! Crazy huh! But just wait! Those hours are being his aid, then I have choir, which is way fun!!!! then guitar, where I get to sit by absolutely wonderful boyfriend! then band! then I scuddle off to Sociology. I really quite enjoy it. So anyways, I love having all my music classes. Oh! and I found my retainer! So now more nasty ear aches when I play my sax!! Woohoo!!! riiiiight....... like you wanted to know that.......

Christmas Equals Love

2004-12-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

Just a poem that I wrote on my spare time. Hope you enjoy it.
--------------------

It was that time again,
Time for job, and love.
But the love felt to be missing.
Something was not in their grasp,
And no one seemed to know what.

Unkind words were being exchanged,
Children were not feeling excepted,
And nobody seemed to be listening,
Even to the loudest voices.

It was until a whisper entered escaped the breath,
Fron the least expected source,
The whisper came from a small child,
One that was often over-looked.

"I love you daddy, and I love you, mommy"
she spoke ever so gently.
Her parents stared at their little girl, in shock,
of where she could have heard that word.
"I love you, Lizzie." Her mommy choked through
a face full of wet tears.

Her daddy just watched, not knowing how
to understand.
He watched is wife grasp their Lizzie in her arms.
It was then that he realized that
Lizzie was his baby girl,
His princess, angel, and the one person
he would love for all time.

Daddy wrapped his arms around Lizzie,
and the woman of his dreams.
"I love you two more than anything in the world."
His heart was now sincere more than ever.
Christmas time was about family,
and loving them
No matter the consequences.

For the first time, mommy was the happiest
wife and mother in the world.
Lizzie may have never realized,
About the family she saved,
Just a little princess that knew that
Christmas equals Love.

tonselitus SUCKS

2004-11-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

So these last like 4 days have felt like SOOOO long! Thursday I left school during lunch, because my throat hurt, and yes, I acutally left school before Band Class!!! So ofcourse, knowing that I missed band, by choice, my parents took me to the doctor, and I had tonselitus! YUCK! So I stayed home friday, and surpressed boredom by watching Animal Planet. great chanel, if you ask me. By friday afternoon, I still felt horrible, but I had to give my very first Saxophone lesson, so I cleaned the living room, got dressed, and practiced before his lesson was to start. But the little twirp never showed!!!! I was so disapointed, and my throat killed from practicing! Saturday was super dooper boring, and today (Sunday) has been boring as well. The only person from the outside world other than my family, that I have seen, was my little brother's best friend. One of my close friends, whom I call my little sister (since I have none), even dropped my little brother off from Pit Orchestra practice. I hoped she would've come in and said, "Hey, how are ya." but nope.... I felt really lonely. My best friend, let's call him Batman, k? lol well, so I find out that last weekend when we had plans, he ditched me for other friends, then hang out with that same group again this weekend. I feel so LONELY! I realised how lucky I am to have such a wonderful guy, and how much I really like him. But he's like my only true friend. My ex-best friend, ditched me for her smarter friends, one of my other best friends started telling all of my deep dark secrets to my nemesis.... jerk... and then there's Batman. We still get a long, and he's here for me, but one of his good friends moved back, and that good friend hates me, so we don't hang out any more... at least like we used to, which was every single weekend. Oh well, I stubbed-toes I'll get used to it. No use being pouty over it. At least I have my boy friend still, we'll call him Robin, because he's the hot one. ;)

Let's start at the very beginning, let us begin with Doe, Ray, Me... j/k

2004-11-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

This is my first blog... crazyness! That is a word that describes my life right now. I don't know where to begin... I'm a senior in high school, and scared to death of graduation. I marched in my very last marching band competition on November 11th, and it really hit me. We won, but I began to realize: "This is it, this is my last opportunity to show who I am, and what I stand for." I have a boyfriend that's in the band, he's really nice, and cute, and fun, and wonderful. hahahaha. did I say wonderful? Life is really wonderful...